I have been composing this post in my head for months, and I’m not sure if I have time to do it justice today, but I’ll give it a shot. Ever since I found out we were having a boy, I’ve been contemplating how different it will be to raise a boy. I feel so blessed that we’ll be able to experience parenting both genders, and I enjoy thinking about how it will be different, and if there are different things I’ll want them to learn or experience.
Almost everyone that finds out I’m having a boy tells me one of two things: 1) Boys are SO much easier! and 2) Boys are SO attached to their Mommas.
And honestly, I don’t believe either. Let me explain. As for boys being “easier”, I think perhaps that would be true in the long run. What I’m daunted to face is raising a toddler boy… Making sure a toddler boy doesn’t do something to seriously hurt or kill himself before he makes it to boyhood. I just know in talking to friends and family that have raised boys, when they are little, boys just seem to get into so much, and be so much more daring than my cautious girl. For instance, one good friend recently commented on how my house “totally isn’t child proofed.”
That comment made me laugh, as Little Miss just doesn’t think to get into a lot of stuff. She doesn’t climb, she doesn’t stick stuff in sockets, she doesn’t explore much… And any friend that brings boys to the house seems to find all the child proofing “gaps” I have. So yes, in about a year, I think my child proofing efforts must be stepped up significantly.
My brother used to joke that his two boys were “suicidal midgets”, which also makes me laugh. I think when they’re young, boys are so much more curious about the physical world, so as girls are playing dress up and dolls, boys are out digging holes, building stuff, knocking stuff over, etc. It’s funny, as I grew up with two older brothers, I totally didn’t want to socialize my daughter to be a “girly girl”. But what I’ve learned so far is that certain traits are innate, such as my daughter’s obsession with dress up and princesses and twirling. I wasn’t like that… I didn’t purposely introduce that, but she just found her own nitch.
I’m sure our boy will find his own nitch, and I’m very excited and curious to find what that nitch will be. Who knows?! He may be more interested in following in his sister’s footsteps, but my women’s intuition is that parenthood as I know it is about to be kicked up a notch. The complexity level will increase, and in a good way.
Even little differences entertain me. Like when I changed my cousin’s 2 month old boy’s diaper, I stopped to contemplate, “well, what do I wipe? Everything, just the back?” And as I contemplated it, my cousin is saying, “woah, cover up there or you’re going to get peed on!” I have a feeling that will happen a few times before I break out of the habits I established changing a girl’s diaper.
And this circumcision decision. Geesh. I never knew how daunting one decision could be, and I know it is controversial, but let’s say JB is adament about what we should/shouldn’t do, so I think I may just follow his lead.
For the second point, right now, I just don’t get what everyone is talking about with boys being so much more attached to their mothers. I look at the bond I have with Little Miss, and coudn’t imagine a stronger bond. From my current point of view, my theory is that when they are young, all children are attached to their mothers. I don’t expect a boy to be more attached, but I look forward to another strong bond. I’m also starting to fantacize about all of the cuddling you get to do with a newborn… Little Miss and I still cuddle every day, but I could use a heck of a lot more of it. It truly is my drug of choice!
Yesterday, I toured one of the local hospitals, as I am scheduling my c-section next week, and needed to decide between the two local hospitals. The tour guide’s eyes got wide when I told her my c-section was next month, and said, “you’d better schedule that soon”.
Nothing like making me feel this birth is creaping up on me than having that conversation!
That’s all for today. Later, I’ll follow up with my thoughts on raising an older boy… Like I keep thinking about things like how will the “birds and the bees” conversation be different for my children? What do I want to teach them about relationships, about life in general… Etc… Must run for now, so stay tuned.