Well, we have now completed the 8 hour birthing class, so we are officially experts in the birthing process.
And yeah, I’m still freaked out.
The teacher really encouraged natural childbirth and “keeping an open mind” as to whether or not you’ll need pain medicine.
Then she showed the videos, and I’m thinking, um, that looks like it hurts like hell!!! Drugs, please!!!
Anyway, the class started with all of us having to go around and introduce ourselves and our “birthing partners”, and then talk about any of our concerns.
Of course, it was the women that did all of the talking, and I thought it was interesting how the women would introduce themselves, say what they do for a living, and then introduce their husband/birthing partner. Not one said what their birthing partner did for a living. Of course, I was sure to say that my hubby is a super smart civil engineer (OK, I didn’t say the super smart part).
All of the women in this class were pregnant with their first child, so I found it entertaining when the woman that weren’t working called themselves, “stay-at-home mothers”. Yes, I’d agree that will be your title once the baby comes, but I don’t think you can claim it before you have a child to stay home with.
The instructor made sure to ask each of the men what their concerns were, and each and every man said, “nothing”, including my husband.
WELL, DUH, THEY DON’T HAVE TO PHYSICALLY GIVE BIRTH AND HAVE THEIR PRIVATE PARTS STRETCHED AND TORN AND HAVE THEIR HIP BONES SEPARATE!!!!!
All they have to do is be supportive, and damn, well I guess I wouldn’t be concerned if that was all I had to do, either!
One of my favorite moments was when our instructor said that from now until birth, each mother should be taking three thirty minute breaks throughout the day, where she can lay down and put her feet up. She then asked who was doing this.
And guess who raised their hands?! (no, not the fathers) It was the “stay-at-home moms”. (I’m not making fun of stay-at-home moms, as that is what I’d love to be… I’m making fun of the women who call themselves this before they even have a child.)
My biggest surprise of the day was watching a woman deliver her placenta. I HAD NO IDEA HOW FRIGGEN HUGE THAT THING IS. I always thought you were done once you pushed the kid out and had it laying on your belly instead of inside your belly, but NO, the fun continues!!!!!
I learned “pattern breathing”, aka Lamaze, and I found that I had a hard time practicing the “he he haw” and “hout, hout, hout” without cracking up. This was especially hard when the instructor told the birthing partners to watch the mothers practice this breathing.
I’m sure I won’t be laughing when I’m in labor, though.
We toured the labor and delivery section of the hospital, and saw the delivery and recovery rooms. It was super scary to think I’d be the person in the bed next time I was there. Yikes!!! There was a newborn in the nursery that a nurse brought out to show us, and as the baby started crying, I teared up myself.
That was something else I learned about myself during class. I can’t watch a birth or see a newborn without tearing up. These damn hormones do a number on you, don’t they?!
I definitely had belly envy during the class. Granted, I was the least far along in our class, but everyone else had very distinct and cute bumps. I just have a gut. Blek.
I also had expected that there would be a lot of woman bonding going on…. You know, a bunch of pregnant women in one room — just sounds like a chummy day, right? Actually, none of us talked to each other, to the point where it was strange. But then again, I had a headache most of the day, and the only person I really cared to talk to was JB anyway.
So, that’s the recap of birthing class. Next on tap? Breast feeding class tomorrow night. Woo!!!