According to iVillage.com, as of Monday, I am now in the third trimester of my pregnancy. As I did upon completion of the first trimester, I think it is time for me to sum up my thoughts on what it is like to be pregnant.
Being Pregnant Is…
- Being a helpless spectator as your body morphs into something completely beyond your control.
- The thrill of feeling your child move inside of you for the first time, and the realization that the novelty of this feeling doesn’t really wear off.
- Being a little bit freaked out by the movement in your belly. (I have a standing mental image of the scene in Aliens when Ripley dreams she is pregnant with an alien, and you can see it moving all around in her belly, and then it bursts out through her skin.)
- Body image issues — ha, and you thought they were bad in the first trimester! And just think, the fun is just beginning!
- A near paralyzing fear of stepping on the scale. A nurse told me yesterday that you get to the point where you just don’t care, and I don’t think that will happen to me.
- Watching in horror as stretch marks take over your belly, despite the dedicated effort of putting Cocoa Butter on it every morning and every evening.
- Bach aches and hip aches. Both seem to be temporarily relieved by either a heating pad, chiropractor, or masseuse, but they come back with a vengence. When I start aching, I do the infamous pregnancy waddle, which really cracks JB up.
- Uncontrollable emotions. I honestly went through a few phases when I thought I was suffering from depression… Non-stop crying, feelings of doom, and just plain being sad. Luckily, I confided in my husband when I got these feelings, and his love and support was able to bring me back to the land of the living. (Side note: A coworker told me that you are a lot more emotional when you’re carrying a girl, because of the extra estrogen. Ha, as if I needed more estrogen!)
- Speaking of my husband, I’ve discovered that I am much more needy for his attention now, and I can’t sleep when he’s not around. I talked to a friend yesterday who also experienced this when she was pregnant, and she says that does indeed go away once you give birth.
- Fear of labor. The bigger I get, the more I fixate on the process of getting this baby out of my body, which is a very scary thought.
- Fear of being a mother. Although this is something I’ve always wanted to do, the fact that I’ll be a mother in three months or less is intimidating. Newborns have always been intimidating to me, and the thought of being responsible for one is daunting. Hopefully those maternal instincts will kick in and take over!
- Jane told me this week that the word Mother in Greek is the same word as ‘sacrifice’, which seems very appropriate. I believe this sacrifice begins in pregnancy, when you give up alcohol, cookie dough (any baking dough, actually), some of your favorite activities, your comfort, etc. In fact, this whole experience has made me view my own mother in a whole new light.
- Most importantly, though, pregnancy is being thankful for the miracle happening inside of your own body, and never ceasing to be in awe of that miracle.
That’s all for today.