Bahumbug, Christmas Tree

7 Dec

What could be more romantic than shopping for a Christmas tree with your new husband, putting it up and decorating it?

Many things, evidently. The quest for a Christmas tree to mark our first Christmas together has been one giant pain in the butt.

It all started on Sunday, when I declared that I really wanted to go Christmas tree shopping. Unfortunately, JB is still recovering from the flu, so we made it out to the Christmas tree lot when it was about 18 degrees, and the poor man couldn’t stop coughing.

Which means we were in a big hurry to just get a tree and go home. And that is what we did. I swear at the time, the tree seemed to be fresh.

We got home, and put the Christmas tree in the stand. And the problem, you see, was that the tree wouldn’t stand in that stand. JB then cut off the bottom limbs of the tree in an effort to make the tree stand up in the stand, and it didn’t work. What did happen was that there was a huge bald spot at the bottom of the tree.

So, my wonderful, sick husband volunteered to go to Lowes right around the corner and get a new stand. He was gone about 45 minutes.

When he came back, he informed me that Lowes was closed, so he had driven all the way to the other side of town to get a stand at Walmart. He picked out a stand, waited in line, and when it came time to pay for the stand, he realized he had forgotten his wallet at home.

Like I said, the man is sick.

So anyway, he drove all the way home, and I suggested that the closest grocery store, Smith’s, would have a stand. He then drove there, to find that the didn’t, so he drove another few miles to Rayley’s, that had a stand that cost almost as much as the tree.

At this point in the story, I must mention that I had vaccuumed that day.

JB finally got home with the new stand, and it worked (hallelujah!). We put the tree up, and I began stringing lights. I thought it was strange that there were so many needles falling off of the tree, but shrugged it off and vaccuumed after I was done.

I came home on Monday to JB saying the tree ‘wasn’t going to make it’. I shrugged him off, thinking he was just being negative because he didn’t feel well.

I then walked over to the tree, and saw a humongous pile of pine needles below it. I ran my fingers over a branch, and all of the needles fell off in my hand. The thing was deader than a doornail.

That was the point that I just got mad. I mean, setting up a tree was supposed to be all fun and romantic. And all it had done for both of us was cause a mess and make us grumpy.

Right about then, JB got a phone call, and I was a woman on a mission. I took the tree out of the stand, and threw it in the truck, and drove straight over to the Christmas tree lot.

At this point, it was about 8:00 pm and I still hadn’t eaten dinner. I’m not a pleasant person when I’m hungry. Just ask my husband.

I ranted and raved to myself the entire drive over to the Christmas tree lot, and prepared the speech I was going to give to them.

When I got to the lot, there weren’t any customers, and there was one guy there in a trailer with his dog. He was about my age, and came out with a smile.

And I guess I couldn’t really be the scrouge that I felt like, so I told him cordially that we had bought a tree from him the day before and that it was dead. He went to look at the tree, and apologized, saying that with the cold weather we’ve had lately, some of the trees froze, which killed them. Once you get them in a warm place is when you really find out if they died or not.

He then helped me pick out a new tree that supposedly had just been unloaded from the truck, and was in the middle of the pile of trees, so it shouldn’t have frozen. And hence, this one should live.

I brought it home, and we spent the next half hour vaccuuming and sweeping the horrendous amounts of pine needles left by the previous tree. When that was done, we put the tree in the stand, and we both decided that we had had enough ‘tree’ time that night, so we just let it stay in its undecorated state. Plus, I wasn’t keen on the idea of getting it decorated just to have the same thing happen to it.

So far so good. And let me tell you, people, our house smells like a pine scented air freshener BLEW UP inside. I guess that’s what happens when you get so many pine needles in the house and then vaccuum them up.

I think I’ll now take to decorating the tree in stages, as I’m pretty darn close to calling the whole Christmas tree project off.

I have to admit that the thought of a fake tree crossed my mind multiple times last night.

One Response to “Bahumbug, Christmas Tree”

  1. Paul December 7, 2004 at 7:21 pm #

    And what is wrong with a fake tree? Especially when the lights are already on it. Pull it out of the box, secure it in the stand, fluff the branches / needles, plug it in and all under 20mins. woohoo And now that Karen has it all decorated, I must say, it looks really good. Well, I do have to say that you miss out on the fresh pine smell, but not having to worry about water and picking up all the needles off the floor, is a pretty good trade off.

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